Porcelain
by EmilyAndTheDiamonds
Summary: "A and B are rivals/nemeses, and wake up one morning together in a bathtub. Naked. With barely any recollection of last night's party." Vauseman high school party AU.
1. Chapter 1

**Just a short little one-shot based on a tumblr prompt. Enjoy!**

* * *

Alex Vause and Piper Chapman had been arch enemies since the 5th grade.

Piper lived in a world apart from Alex, with her designer clothes and distant parents. In addition to this, Piper was Jessica Wedge's cousin and the girl made Alex's life hell from the moment she met her. So, in tow, Alex hated Piper. She would just stand and watch with the rest of Wedge's minions and try to fit in with the girls that were a year older than her by sometimes referring to her as " _Greaser_ " when she was evidently annoyed and her friends were showing off.

So, when the famous Nicky Nichols got wind that Pornstache from their 12th-grade chemistry class where both Chapman and Wedge, among others, were attending they knew that they had/ to gatecrash.

Which is what left Alex Vause, notorious lesbian sex god, in an unfamiliar bathtub with a sharp ache in her neck, freezing cold and a hangover so extreme that she was fairly certain a small man hand climbed inside her head and started drilling.

The night started off as any other party where you weren't invited, people got mad and cans were thrown in the duos general direction but eventually, and mainly due to Pornstache staring at Alex's boobs, they were given free beer and allowed to roam free.

It had been relatively quite for Alex's standards until Nichols had screamed out to anybody who was listening over the loud music, "Vause! Let's play never have I ever" and Alex could tell just by looking at Nicky it was a cheap ploy for free shots but honestly she didn't mind.

After Alex had ransacked the cupboards and found two bottles of tequila and half bottle of whisky Nicky had rounded up a few contenders. There was John Bennett, some girl Alex thought people called Flaca, Boo, some short brunette Nicky was trying to bring over to the dark side, and none other than the notorious WASP Piper Chapman. Honestly, Alex was shocked she'd even go to parties. But she did seem pretty smashed so maybe she could get some info out of her she could use at a later date.

With a sex life as wild as Alex's and between her and Nicky they had tried almost every drug available by the sixth round she had done five shots, the only criteria that she hadn't met was Bennett's "Never have I ever slept with a man", and Alex Vause was definitely drunk.

It was after that that things started to get hazy. She vaguely remembered Nicky getting off with that chick and later threatening to beat Boo up if she carried on calling her Stretch, but other than that her mind came up blank.

Alex looked downwards and wasn't surprised to find she was naked. She was, however, _very_ surprised to see a certain blonde, who was also _very_ naked, curled into Alex's side with her legs twisted around her own in awkward angles and her left arm cupping her own breast. Alex felt herself actually blush at that. Why? She had no idea.

Wait, maybe it wasn't Piper. Because Alex knew as well as anyone that Piper was almost as straight as they come. She was just jumping to conclusions. Where were her glasses?

Trying to maneuver her long body without waking the blonde was quite the task seen as she was clung like a baby koala but soon enough she'd moved her body in a way that she could both look around and move one arm. Fuck! Her glasses were by the door on the opposite side of the room from what she could tell. Due to her being longsighted and a little blind all over she decided to settle back down into the unforgettable porcelain and move to her side a little to inspect the other woman.

With pale two fingers, the older of the two lifted the girls head up from its pillow on her broad shoulder and inspected her face, purely to see who it was of course.

Much to her horror, there was no denying it was definitely Piper and, due to the very different kind of ache in between her legs from everywhere else, they certainly had sex. At least she must've been good, Alex pondered but quickly withdrew from the idea when that fact that she hated this girl dropped on her like a tonne of bricks.

The brunette jumped quickly from her when she realised this, and in the process, knocked the blondes head against the bathtub.

"Ugh!" She groaned, rubbing her head. Alex stood frozen. She could easily collect her discarded clothes from around the room and bolt like she usually would be her body wouldn't react to her brain. "Alex?" Oh God, she was awake now. Nowhere to run. "Alex, I'm naked!" The blonde squeaked panicked, both covering herself up and looking up at the older girl with wide blue eyes.

Panicked, Alex turned around as if to preserve Piper modestly. It's not like she hadn't seen it before, though. Wait, maybe Piper thought she'd just walked in. Did she even know? "We had sex" Blurted out Alex in a very un-Alex manner. She was rendered almost speechless by the girl.

The room was silent as the pair both scrambled for their clothes and tried to avoid eye contact.

* * *

It was on their way out of the front door, with Alex unable to find her underwear and pulling on her worn leather jacket, that the blonde next looked at her. She looked cute in an awkward sort of way. Not that Alex found people she fucked cute, merely hot or sexy.

"Call me sometime, yeah?"

What? Did Alex hear her right? She adjusted her glasses uncomfortably. This situation wasn't new to her but the feelings associated with it were.

"Nicky has my number from texting me about how I'm 'a little shit' every time she's drunk, get it off her" Piper mumbled, less confident "If you want" She added quickly.

Alex nodded, dazed. Piper smiled widely in response to this and, while Alex was still unresponsive to nearly all stimuli, leant up on her tiptoes and gave the brunette a quick kiss on the cheek before turning and walking away.

There were very few time Alex Vause was actually truly speechless and two of them had been this morning. The brunette brought her fingers up to touch where the blonde she "hated" had just kissed. She'd been asked to call girls after a night out many times, but as the watched Piper walk away, she thought she actually would this time.


	2. Epilogue

**An epilogue for all those who suggested it. The block of italics indicates a memory. Enjoy!**

* * *

Alex had managed two days before she finally caved and asked Nicky for Piper's number.

Of course, to avoid being labeled as an extreme hypocritic, she had insisted it was merely for annoying the blonde. Not asking her out on a date.

It was less than 24 hours after the party stated that Alex had actually started to remember how she had awoken to a straight girl, who hated her might she add, naked and wrapped around her in a bathtub.

 _"Stop fucking calling me Stretch!"_

 _"Damn, **Stretch** , you really need to get laid" Smirked Boo, sipping her can of larger quite content with the reaction she was getting from the raven haired girl._

 _"Fuck you" Alex murmured before storming off in the general direction of the garden._

 _It was once she was out in the fresh air that promptly fell arse over elbow and landed with a thud on the cold grass of the back lawn. Fully prepared and revved up to body slam whoever it was that tripped her up, Alex sat up and angrily felt around the floor for her glasses. She wouldn't fair very well tearing someone a new asshole blind. Soon enough though, she saw them being handed to her._

 _Once she had securely set them on top of her head she saw a familiar blonde smiling down at her._

 _"I think you **might** have had a bit much to drink" Piper sniggered, offering her hand to the older girl on the ground._

 _"Fuck off, Chapman" The brunette growled, slapping away her hand and climbing up clumsily on her own. She was in a mood and could be bothered with her petty bullshit._

 _"Be mad at the gnome. Not at me"_

 _"What?" Alex asked dumbly_

 _The blonde laughed again, for the first time Alex was beginning to enjoy the sound rather than wanting to throttle the girl_ , _and indicated to the toppled over gnome._

 _"Oh" Alex looked to the object she was so angry at to Piper and back. She had drunk far too much_

 _"Arent you going to say sorry?" The blonde asked, leaning in with a wide smile and twirling a strand of curly hair around her finger. Was Piper fucking Chapman flirting with her?_

 _"Fuck no!"_

 _"No?"_

 _"No"_

 _Piper grabbed her hand and started pulling her away from the garden "I'll make you say sorry somehow"_

There was what must've been an hour of blank space between this memory and the next, but as hard as Alex tried, she couldn't for the life of her remember what occurred. The next thing she remembered things were already at second base with the blonde.

 _The pair broke apart for a moment to both breathe and open the door to what they hoped was the final bedroom in the house. The first they had found was occupied by Piper's friend Polly and some guy who was far too old for her, the next by someone who Alex presumed was Nicky by the wild mane of hair and the third by non-other than Pornstache himself. After his **incredibly** kind offer to join him was _ declined _they pushed their way_ in _to through the final door and stumbled_ _through._

 _Piper_ surprised _the brunette by flipping their positions and pinning Alex against the door with a strength she_ hadn't _known she had._

 _Then clothes were stripped away in a haste and something that Alex had never expected to ever happen_ occurred that _Alex had never expected to ever happen occurred. Piper Chapm_ an _slipped her hand with perfectly manicured nails into Alex's boyshorts and fucked her right there against the bathroom door._

 _In her alcohol induced state she came shamefully quickly before regaining her composure and whispering specifically what she was preparing to do to Piper into her ear._

 _So, as it played out, Piper achieved orgasm number one by Alex's fingers against the door, in a similar way to how the 'innocent' blonde had done previously. Then another two pushed against the door from Alex's mouth. Then the younger girl regained some strength and practically ripped away any remaining articles of clothing and pushed Alex backwards towards the relatively large bathtub, never once breaking their kiss._

Alex remembered distinctly _"I want to taste what you taste like"_ and the mind-blowing orgasm that followed.

Somewhere after Piper kissed her, then cuddled put like a damn cat and fell asleep right on top of Alex. And Alex, not being in a much more sober state, had followed soon after.

* * *

Alex had finally grown enough balls to call Piper, the girl whom she'd once called a knock-off Barbie doll sister, to ask on a date.

It was 6:52 when Alex arrived at the grand Chapman household.

She'd only ever heard about it in the abstract but it really was a _great_ house. Ringing the doorbell Alex gave herself a once over, just to check her leather jacket wasn't too wrinkled, and hoped she wasn't too early. While they did agree on 7:15, the brunette was almost certain she'd combust having to wait almost half an hour in her truck.

"Why are you here?" Alex looked up to see a very unamused Holly? Molly? Harper.

"Is Piper in?" She replied, ignoring her question.

"She might be. But why would she want to see you?"

Alex smirked "Well, you see Holly, she and I had sex. And I'll have you know it was _really_ phenome-"

"Pol, who is it?" Piper called out from somewhere nearby, causing a bright red Polly to break her gaze away from Alex

"It's... Er" Alex really had her flustered "Supercunt"

The sound of hurried footsteps could be heard then. Piper hastily pushed Polly out of the way of the door "Alex? You're early! I've not even started getting ready yet" The blonde indicated down to her ripped jeans and her old _Friends_ / t-shirt. "I mean-"

"You look nice, Pipes" Alex cut her off, her confidence dwindling once more.

"I'm just gonna..." Polly looked awkward, indicating out the door before making a break for it.

Alex gave her signature heart-stopping smirk, nudging her glasses further up her nose "Get your shoes on. We're going on a date"

* * *

Piper had later found out that Alex idea of a date was Chinese food in the flatbed of her truck filled with blankets and pillows in the park, and Piper decided that staring up at the night sky then only to look beside her to find those bright emerald grey eyes, she was the happiest she had been in a long while.

The blonde sat up and pulled a nearby pillow up to her chest. It smelled like Alex and, although she'd never admit it aloud, she loved the scent.

"Alex," The girl looked up, worried. She knew it was weird after so many years disliking each other but was it really _that_ bad? "Oh, God, Al! You look like you're about to cry" Piper doubled over laughing at Alex expense.

Alex retorted by flicking rice at the WASPy blonde "Asshole"

"I just wanted to say I like this place," She paused "I like this date" There was a longer pause where she hid her face "I like you too. A _lot_ "

Alex smiled. Not even a smirk or a cocky grin. She full on smile with teeth and everything "I like you too, kid"


End file.
